Category: Humour

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Laugh Your Sorrow Away

Laugh Your Sorrow AwayLaugh Your Sorrow Away: A Compilation of Short Jokes

John walked into a bar and aggressively shouted his order to the barman: “Please give me half chicken of pepper soup and then give everyone half a kilo of chicken pepper soup, because when I eat, I want everyone to eat!”
The barman processed his request and gave him his meal and everyone else their meals.

 

When they finished enjoying their meal he shouted for another order: “Give me a bottle of Champagne and give everybody else a bottle of Johnny Walker Black, because when I drink, I want everybody to drink!”
Everyone was happy and singing praises, saying:
“John is The Man”. When John finished his drink, he shouted again:

 

“Give me my bill and give everyone else their own bill, because when I pay, I want everyone to pay”
John’s funeral is tomorrow at 10 AM!

The One with the Sneezing Contest

Once upon a time, there was a group of friends who were trying to find something to do to pass the time. So, they decided to have a sneezing contest! Everyone was trying to sneeze the loudest, and the winner would get a prize. But then, one of the friends sneezed so loud, it knocked all of the other friends off their feet! Everyone was laughing so hard that they forgot all about the contest!

You should indeed Laugh Your Sorrow Away!

See also; The Seasons of Life – Life Altitude (livealtitude.com)

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The Crucifix and the Young Boy

The Crucifix and the boyThe Crucifix and the Young Boy

A young boy was notorious for always taking the last position at the end of each semester examination. In a bid to improve his performance, his father had to change his school. At the end of the semester examination, he still took the last position. The father who wasn’t discourage continue changing schools for him, hoping that his performance would, perhaps, improve. After six attempt which prove fruitless, a friend suggested a Catholic school for him.

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Old Timers

Old Timers:

A couple Old Timersin their nineties are both having problems remembering things. They decide to go to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor tells them that they’re physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.
Later that night while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair.
His wife asks, “Where are you going?”
“To the kitchen,” he replies.
“Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?”
“Sure.”
“Don’t you think you should write it down so you can remember it?” she asks.

“No, I can remember it.”

“Well, I’d like some strawberries on top, too. You’d better write it down, because you know you’ll forget it.”
He says, “I can remember that! You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.”
“I’d also like whipped cream. I’m certain you’ll forget that, so you’d better write it down!” she retorts.
Irritated, he says, “I don’t need to write it down, I can remember it! Leave me alone! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream — I got it, for goodness’ sake!” Then he grumbles into the kitchen.
After about 20 minutes the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.

She stares at the plate for a moment and says… “Where’s my toast?

The story of old timers is a story of love and fun between two old couples

Read Also; JUST PUSH – Life Altitude (livealtitude.com)

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