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Laugh Your Sorrow Away

Laugh Your Sorrow AwayLaugh Your Sorrow Away: A Compilation of Short Jokes

John walked into a bar and aggressively shouted his order to the barman: “Please give me half chicken of pepper soup and then give everyone half a kilo of chicken pepper soup, because when I eat, I want everyone to eat!”
The barman processed his request and gave him his meal and everyone else their meals.

 

When they finished enjoying their meal he shouted for another order: “Give me a bottle of Champagne and give everybody else a bottle of Johnny Walker Black, because when I drink, I want everybody to drink!”
Everyone was happy and singing praises, saying:
“John is The Man”. When John finished his drink, he shouted again:

 

“Give me my bill and give everyone else their own bill, because when I pay, I want everyone to pay”
John’s funeral is tomorrow at 10 AM!

The One with the Sneezing Contest

Once upon a time, there was a group of friends who were trying to find something to do to pass the time. So, they decided to have a sneezing contest! Everyone was trying to sneeze the loudest, and the winner would get a prize. But then, one of the friends sneezed so loud, it knocked all of the other friends off their feet! Everyone was laughing so hard that they forgot all about the contest!

You should indeed Laugh Your Sorrow Away!

See also; The Seasons of Life – Life Altitude (livealtitude.com)

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THE ATHEIST CAME FOR ME! by Isaac Shemang

THE ATHEIST CAME FOR ME! by Isaac Shemang

THE ATHEIST CAME FOR ME! by Isaac Shemang

“There is something fundamentally similar about us. You believe that God doesn’t exist. I believe that God exists. Ultimately, both of us are believers”. Anthony Akinwale.

I am often met with messages on my in box sequel to my posts. This particular one is fascinating. I have the person’s permission to talk about it. It goes thus: ” I find your posts reasonable and intelligent. I don’t share the opinions however on your posts about God. How do you come around your opinions with such convincing brilliance?” I replied him with 2cor 3:11; it says, “For if what fades away comes with such splendour, what is permanent must have much more splendour”. God. “That is how I come about my convictions”, I replied, with a mild bit of religious arrogance. He said, “That is where I always have problem, when your posts come with divine underpinnings, because I don’t believe in God”. The conversation then began.

 

He gave his reasons for not believing in God. The reasons, to be fair to him were existential human concerns, though contestable. After much detailed communication back and forth, I said to him; “For the records, there are a couple of things I don’t believe as a person, certainly the existence of God isn’t one of them. We had disagreed on many fronts. But I think we share some things also: I hold my convictions with passion. You hold your convictions with passion too. Thus, both of us are passionate. Secondly, you believe that God doesn’t exist. I believe that God does exist. Thus, both of us are believers. Hence, because we share passions and beliefs, summarily, both of us are passionate believers”. He said nothing. He remained silent for some time. Later, he replied, “the conversation continues some other time”.

 

A concerned friend asked me, ” what has kept you busy this long?” I said, “I just finished a polite debate with an atheist”. He responded, “I have no time for those rigid jerks”. To my mind, the road to conversion could be long and slow and sometimes frustrating. But with patience and steadiness the result is worth it. St Augustine said once: ” If you are suffering from a bad man’s injustice, forgive him – lest there be two bad men”.

 

 

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THE HORSES ARE THREE OTHERS ARE DONKEYS

THE HORSES ARE THREE, OTHERS ARE DONKEYSTHE HORSES ARE THREE OTHERS ARE DONKEYS: AN ANALOGY OF THE TRIBES IN NIGERIA
I ran into a heated debate between Temi, Audu and Chidi. It was a conversation bristling in brilliance. The subject was identity markers. Temi said the Hausas are idiots. They put Nigeria where it is today. Audu said the Igbo’s are dubious. They commit just every unimaginable crimes in the world. Chidi said the Yorubas are cowards. Precisely why Awolowo reneged on their Agreement with Ojukwu on the civil war. The argument continued. The heat intensified.


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The Power of Love by Kelvin Ugwu

The Power of Love by Kelvin UgwuThe Power of Love

Some years back when I worked in Ile-Ife in Osun State as a young seminarian, I made effort to visit and pray with any of my parishioners anytime I am informed that they are sick. In one of those visits, I met Tunde. He had malaria. Though he was taking his medications, but for three days he refused to take his bath or wash his mouth. He wore same clothes for three days (so I was told). He was a student of OAU, but had his apartment outside the school.

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Food for Thought: 11 Things you didn’t Learn in School

 

Food for Thought: 11 Things you didn't Learn in SchoolFood for Thought: 11 Things you didn’t Learn in School

Rule 1:  Life is not fair – get used to it.
Rule 2:  The world won’t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
Rule 3:  You will NOT make 40 thousand dollars a year right out of high school. You won’t be a vice-president with a car phone, until you earn both.

Rule 4:  If you think your teacher is tough, wait until you get a boss. He doesn’t have tenure.

Rule 5:  Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping – they called it opportunity.
Rule 6:  If you mess up, it’s not your parents’ fault, so don’t whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
Rule 7:  Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you are. So, before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parents’ generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
Rule 8:  Your school may have done away with winners and losers but life has not. In some schools they have abolished failing grades and they’ll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
Rule 9:  Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.
Rule 10:  Television is NOT real life (nor are video games). In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Rule 11:  Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.

Food for Thought:  are wisdom words that guild us in our daily living

 
— By Charles Sykes, from his book “Dumbing Down our Kids”
Image courtesy: daddylife.net
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Building your House: Build Wisely!

Building your House: Build Wisely!Building your House: Build Wisely! A Test for Integrity

Building your House: Build Wisely! is a story about an elderly carpenter was ready to retire. He told his employer-contractor of his plans to leave the house-building business to live a more leisurely life with his wife and enjoy his extended family. He would miss the paycheck each week, but he wanted to retire. They could get by.
The contractor was sorry to see his good worker go and asked if he could build just one more house as a personal favor. The carpenter said yes, but over time it was easy to see that his heart was not in his work. He resorted to shoddy workmanship and used inferior materials. It was an unfortunate way to end a dedicated career.
When the carpenter finished his work, his employer came to inspect the house. Then he handed the front-door key to the carpenter and said, “This is your house… my gift to you.”
The carpenter was shocked!
What a shame! If he had only known he was building his own house, he would have done it all so differently.
So, it is with us. We build our lives, a day at a time, often putting less than our best into the building. Then, with a shock, we realize we have to live in the house we have built. If we could do it over, we’d do it much differently.
 
But, you cannot go back. You are the carpenter, and every day you hammer a nail, place a board, or erect a wall.
INSIGHTS
This post Building your House: Build Wisely! is an inspiration for everyone. Someone once said, “Life is a do-it-yourself project.” Your attitude, and the choices you make today, help build the “house” you will live in tomorrow. Indeed, it is good to Building your House: Build Wisely!
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5 Steps to Make Affirmations Work for You!

5 Steps to Make Affirmations Work for You! and learn how to make affirmations work for you.5 Steps to Make Affirmations Work for You!

Affirmations (meaning a statement said with confidence about a perceived truth) have helped thousands of people make significant changes in their lives. But they don’t always work for everyone. Why can one person have great success using this tool while another see’s no results at all?

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Your Inner Voice

Your Inner VoiceYour Inner Voice

My day started just like all the other days for the past 15 years where I get up, make some coffee, shower, get dressed and leave for the train station at preciously 7:35 A.M. to arrive at work by 8:30. While on the train I would always choose a seat away from the crowd so I can read the newspaper in peace and quiet. 

 

At work I am always being bombarded with questions from coworkers, suppliers, telephone and then those dreaded meetings so the last thing I need is some stranger to sit beside me and make small talk.


I don’t know why but for some reason when I got on the train today it was unusually full, something I don’t recall ever happening in the past. With hesitation I sat down in the only seat available beside a middle-aged man that had his head down and seemed to be lost in his thoughts. I was glad that he didn’t notice when I sat next to him as he just continued to look down towards the floor.

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Shortly after the train left for my 30-minute ride downtown I found myself wondering what this man was thinking about. What could be so important that he didn’t even see me sit next to him? I tried to forget about it and started to read my paper. However, for some strange reason this “inner voice” kept prompting me to talk to this man. I tried to ignore the “voice” as there was no way I was starting a conversation with a complete stranger.


As you probably guessed I eventually broke down and came up with an excuse to ask him a question. When he raised his head and turned his eyes towards me I could see that he must have been really upset as he had red eyes and still had some tears rolling down the side of his face despite his feeble attempt to wipe them away. I can’t describe the sadness I felt seeing someone in so much pain.


We talked for about 20 minutes and in the end he seemed to be doing better. As we were leaving the train he thanked me profusely for being an angel by taking the time to talk. I never did find out what was making his heart so heavy with pain but was glad I listened to the “voice” that day.


Several weeks had passed when I noticed an envelope on my desk after returning from lunch. It was not addressed to anyone and only had the word “Angel” written on it. My receptionist attached a note saying a gentleman dropped it off saying he did not know my name but had described me well enough that the receptionist knew it was for me. When I read the note inside the envelope I was so filled with emotions that I couldn’t contain myself. It was a letter from the man I met on the train thanking me again for talking to him and saving his life that day.


Apparently he had some very hurtful personal problems that were so overwhelming he was planning to take his life that day. In his letter he went on to explain that he was a religious person and in desperation screamed out to God that if God really cared about him he would send someone to prevent him from taking his life. In his eyes I was that someone, that Angel sent by God.


Not being a religious person myself I don’t know what that “voice” was that made me take a chance and talk to a stranger but I do know that it made a difference in someone’s life that day. So the next time you feel prompted for no apparent reason to talk to a friend, relative, neighbor or even a complete stranger please remember my story. You just may make a difference in someone’s life when you listen to your inner voice. 

 
Bob Eilers 

Further Reading: Reasons to Take a Vacation Every Year – It’s Not Just for Fun! (atravelikes.com)

 

 

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The Crucifix and the Young Boy

The Crucifix and the boyThe Crucifix and the Young Boy

A young boy was notorious for always taking the last position at the end of each semester examination. In a bid to improve his performance, his father had to change his school. At the end of the semester examination, he still took the last position. The father who wasn’t discourage continue changing schools for him, hoping that his performance would, perhaps, improve. After six attempt which prove fruitless, a friend suggested a Catholic school for him.

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Giving a Chance to the Less Privileged

 

Giving a Chance to the Less PrivilegedGiving a Chance to the Less Privileged: Until his resumption as the principal of Future Hope Secondary School some fifteen years ago, only about two to six of the dozens of students finish their secondary education.
The rest simply dropped out. They are victims of drugs, cultural influence of early Marriage for the girls, but the underlying factor is that of poverty. Most of them came from below poverty level households. For the past 10 years St. Vincent de Paul Society has provided funds for skill acquisition and also for those who wanted to attend higher institutions.

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The Seasons of Life: Seeing Things in Perspective

The Seasons of Life: The need to view Things in Perspective

The Seasons of Life

 

There was a man who had four sons.  He wanted his sons to learn to not judge things too quickly.  So he sent them each on a quest, in turn, to go and look at a pear tree that was a great distance away.

The first son went in the winter, the second in the spring, the third in summer and the youngest son in the fall. When they had all gone and come back he called them together to describe what they had seen. The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted.

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